When we lose someone we love — whether a spouse, a parent, a sibling, or a dear friend — the world can feel quieter, emptier, and a little less real. The grief is heavy, but in the silence that follows, many people begin to wonder:
“Are they still with me somehow?”
Some people sense a gentle touch on the shoulder. Others smell perfume, pipe tobacco, or fresh flowers out of nowhere. Some hear a song, feel a sudden warmth, or dream so vividly it feels like a real visit. These experiences are common — especially for older adults who have said goodbye to many loved ones over the years.
But not all signs bring peace. Some feel unsettling, or even strange. So how do you know if what you’re feeling is truly the spirit of someone you loved… or something else?
Let’s explore the difference — and why it matters.
1. The Feeling in the Room: Warmth vs. Discomfort
When the spirit of a loved one is near, most people describe the energy as gentle, calming, and familiar. It may feel like:
A peaceful wave washing over you
A soft inner warmth
A deep sense of being loved and protected
There may be goosebumps, but not fear. Sometimes you might even smile through tears.
On the other hand, other types of energy — such as environmental disturbances or residual emotional energy — may bring:
Cold chills
Unease or restlessness
A feeling of being watched without comfort
If your body tenses or your gut tells you something is off, listen. Love does not scare us. Real connection feels like safety.
2. Signs from Loved Ones Are Personal, Not Random
Those who have passed often use symbols or memories that were meaningful during life. For example:
Smelling your grandmother’s favorite rose-scented lotion
A wedding song playing when you’re thinking of your late spouse
A butterfly landing on your hand at their favorite picnic spot
A photo of them falling from a shelf while you’re speaking their name
These are intimate, memory-based signs. They come with an emotional “signature” — a feeling that says, “This is them.”
In contrast, other energies may cause things like flickering lights, electronics acting up, or knocks on the wall. These may or may not have spiritual meaning. If they feel random, disconnected, or spooky, they’re likely not from someone you loved.
3. The Emotional Impact Tells You Everything
Pay close attention to how you feel afterward.
When a loved one visits — in spirit, a dream, or energy — you might cry, but it’s often from relief or love. You may feel:
Lighter, even if just for a moment
Seen and comforted
Spiritually connected
If an experience leaves you feeling:
Drained
Anxious or jumpy
Emotionally off-balance
…it’s likely not your loved one’s spirit. Remember: they loved you in life. That love continues after death.
4. Timing: Spirit Visits Often Happen on Meaningful Days
Spiritual connection tends to come when:
You need it most
You’re marking an anniversary, birthday, or holiday
You’re about to make a big decision
You’re in deep grief or prayer
These visits feel intentional, like a soul reaching across time to say, “I’m still with you.”
Other unexplained energies often appear with no emotional context, and may even feel like interruptions — not blessings.
5. Dream Visits: A Common and Sacred Encounter
Many people report vivid, hyper-real dreams of loved ones after they’ve passed. These dreams stand out because:
The person looks healthy, peaceful, even glowing
They may not speak, but communicate through feeling
You wake up feeling calm, healed, or certain that it was real
These are often visitation dreams, and they are gifts.
Dreams caused by anxiety, guilt, or trauma feel different — chaotic, confusing, or emotionally painful. Trust how your body and heart respond when you wake up.
6. Intuition Is a Spiritual Compass
If something feels like your loved one… it probably is.
Most people have an inner knowing that cannot be explained logically. Call it intuition, soul memory, or divine guidance — it often tells you more than any book or expert can.
So if your heart whispers, “That was Mom,” or “He’s here with me,” trust that.
7. If the Energy Feels Wrong, Set Spiritual Boundaries
While rare, sometimes spiritual experiences feel too intense or uninvited. In those moments:
Speak aloud your intention: “Only loving energy is welcome here.”
Pray, sing, or recite scriptures that bring you peace
Light a candle or place comforting spiritual items in your space
Ask for protection from God, angels, or whatever faith tradition you follow
You are never powerless. Your peace matters.
8. Spiritual Support Is Strength, Not Weakness
If you’re unsure how to process a spiritual experience, you don’t have to do it alone.
Many people turn to:
Grief counselors
Clergy or pastors
Hospice spiritual care providers
Support groups
Sharing your story can help you understand the moment, and feel less alone in your grief.
9. Your Loved One’s Love Didn’t Die — Just Their Body
Here is what so many who’ve lost someone have discovered:
Love doesn’t disappear with death.
It transforms, and visits in quiet moments.
It becomes a scent in the air, a song at the right time, or a sudden wave of peace.
Even if you don’t believe in ghosts or spirits, many people feel their loved one’s presence for months, years, even decades.
What matters most is this: Does it bring you comfort? Does it feel like love?
If so — hold onto that. Let it guide you.
💬 Closing Reflection: When the Veil Is Thin
We may never fully understand the mystery of what happens after death. But many of us have experienced something we can’t explain — something gentle, personal, and loving.
The spirit of someone who knew you, loved you, and walked through life with you doesn’t simply disappear.
They linger in the quiet, visit in dreams, and sit beside you when the tears come.
So if you feel them near — don’t be afraid to say hello.
🌿 Optional Title Variations:
“Are You Still With Me? How to Know If It’s a Loved One’s Spirit or Something Else”
“Spirit or Something Else? How to Tell What You’re Really Sensing After Loss”
“When Grief Meets Mystery: Signs That a Loved One’s Spirit Is Near”
“Between This World and the Next: Understanding Signs from Those We’ve Lost”
